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PTSD
I
suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
You cannot truly understand what a person
with this disorder truly goes through unless you
live it yourself.
When I was married to my ex-husband he was
very violent and extremely mentally abuse to my
children and myself.
I know the question…why didn’t you
leave?
I wish I had the answer to that question myself. I was afraid. I
was terrified that he would do what he said he
would do but I didn’t know how bad I was afraid
until about 2 yrs after I was out of the
relationship.
I became withdrawn.
I became extremely depressed.
And I ended up getting a letter from him
saying that he was going to be released from
prison. For 4 months I dwelt on that letter and the fear that he
might get close to my children and myself again.
But none of these feelings were in the
front of my mind.
Finally, the major brake down happened…
Major fear over took my life…. I couldn’t be
outside…I couldn’t have the curtains open….
I couldn’t go to work… I couldn’t have
people touch me.
Flashes of what he had done began to show
up…. can you imagine the feeling of knowing you
want to say something but for the life of you
there is no way you can remember what it is and
then wham it’s there.
I would begin to shake all over…. my head
would begin to pound…. there was something in
there and I needed to get it out…. I began to
hit my head in hopes that some how that would help
to get what ever it was out.
My eyes would wonder… there was no way
for me to fixate on anything… finally I knew it
was coming, but what????
I would begin talking, or yelling, or crying or
who knows exactly what…. I wouldn’t know what
all I said. Usually
had to be told later….
But what I did remember was….
”HE
WANTED TO KILL MY BABY!!!”
I
yelled it over and over and over.
He
had a knife in my 2 1 / 2 year old daughters hand.
And was asking her if she wanted to die
with her daddy.
Did she want to go with him?
I was helpless.
He had already cut the phone.
We had 2 other children in the house.
What could I do to protect my daughter, my
boys and myself?
And
now they were letting him out of Prison…
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is VERY SERIOUS and
can cause great hardship on a person and their
family. With
the right medications and support the person will
be able to deal with flash backs in time as they
come. The
most important thing that a person with PTSD needs
to remember is that with ever remembered account
and facing it and putting it in its place will
help them with their recovery!!
I am sure there is or will be someone in your life
that will need your understand on this disorder
so, please educate yourself before it happens.
Don’t be like me and need to understand
it because it happened to me and not be able to
read the pages because it hurt too much to read
what I was going through.
Please
visit the PTSD websites below to find more
information…
http://www.ncptsd.org/
http://www.sover.net/~schwcof/ptsd.html
http://www.ptsdalliance.org/home2.html
http://www.patiencepress.com/
http://www.psychworks.com/PTSD%20response.htm
http://www.ptsdinfo.org/
http://www.sidran.org/trauma.html
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